Week 29 - It's a museum for Lord's sake. Show some respect.

It's hard to be as cultured and classy as we are. After spending parts of this afternoon in the National Gallery of Art and the Natural History Museum, I'm fairly convinced that the baby we've got brewing is a little Renaissance (wo)man who will make Leonardo DaVinci look like Ralph Wiggum (yes, you non-Simpsons watchers, Ralph's the little cartoon paste-eater over yonder).

After Anna's exhibitions among our Nation's historic treasures, I'm pretty much full to burstin' with pride that our Puck is marinating in someone with the common decency and good sense to protect innocent eyes from smut like this:



and the improvisational skill and manual dexterity to accomplish the likes of this*:



There were more people kicking around these air conditioned marble halls this afternoon than Monet's got paint smears. Moms, dads, kids, sullen teens, grandmas, the whole lot (and almost every one in a tank top!) but not one was doing anything even remotely like this stuff. I mean, look at these people. Show me which one is classier than Anna. (She's the one in brown... without the tusks.)



And yes, I'll pay for that joke for the rest of my life, so I hope you enjoyed it. Please tell her how beautiful and radiant and classy she is and maybe I'll get to meet the child at some point before high school.

In fact I'll do it myself. I'll even give her a medal or five. Something nice from the 16th century or so. Italian, I think. She sure as hell deserves it.



Schedule may get rocky next week as there's no wireless at Saquish. Apologies in advance.

* and yes, Rhode Islanders, that IS the "pregnant pterodactyl" made famous all over South County, but mostly at the Muse on martini night as the opening act for the Gin Monster.

Week 28 - Hot and Tardy

This week we bring you two icons of Capitol Hill. This decision is in no way related to the fact that we didn't get back from our weekend trip in time to take any pictures on Sunday and had to scramble to come up with something we could do tonight after work.

We were hoping that we'd find a cotillion of pro-lifers on the front steps of the Supreme Court, waggling their placards and praising Jesus, but it's getting to that slow time in DC when the humidity percentage does battle with the temperature to see which can reach 100 first, and that really cuts back on the pep of even the most fetus-loving zealot. We settled for this creepy-looking bronze lawyer baby out front.



We did manage to attract the attention of one security guard, but his main concern was preventing Anna from being captured on camera passed out on the steps. Too bad, sucka! The Constitution expressly protects my right to photograph my pregnant wife wherever the hell I want. Keep your hands off my uterus!



Then in search of a quieter experience, we wandered down the block to the Library of Congress. They have a nice fountain, and we thought long and hard about wading in it, but decided that Puck's first night in jail should be the result of his or her own raucous efforts, and we didn't want to spoil it.



Oh, and for those of you who tried and failed to leave comments last week, I've changed the settings to allow you to do so without logging in. Freedom of speech RULES! And you never know, maybe you'll end up in the Library of Congress...

Update coming

Spent all together too much time on I-95 last weekend, so the update has been delayed, but there should be new photos here by tonight...

Week 27 - Best Supporting Monument

At the Oscars, they always throw the audience a nice bone relatively early in the program. Usually it's the Best Supporting Actor and/or Actress Award. Something to butter up the crowd and flash a few familiar faces before descending into the drudgery of Best Costumes and Phil Collins being earnest and stupid Best Screenplay--like anyone gives a shit about writers.

So this week is bone week, lucky Anna trackers. You get a break from DC obscurity, and a little reminder of your 10th grade social studies field trip: The Jefferson Memorial. Situated on the lonely far shore of the Tidal Basin and often skipped on those scenic Monuments-by-Night tours due to its proximity to the seamy underbelly of the eternally "gentrifying" Southwest Waterfront, the Jeff has always gotten my nod for Best Supporting Monument. It doesn't get much screen time, but it does a damn fine job with the few token lines it's been given.

By rights, this should end this with a contrived joke delivered by a half-drunk A-lister, but since I don't know any half-drunk A-listers, I'll skip that bit and move right on to this week's visuals.





And just in case you wanted a flashback to that 10th grade field trip...

Week 26 - Return to the Homeland

Anna and I have just returned from a few days meandering the lands of our youth, not unlike Trot Nixon, who roamed Fenway's right field during the wrong half-innings wearing a foreign uniform while his 7-sporting doppelganger JD Drew nearly cost Josh Beckett his perfect record. No, JD, we're not saying "Drooooooooo!" In fact, there was a classic member of Red Sox Nation a few rows back who wasn't saying anything I can print in a family newsletter. Apparently he hadn't heard that the home team was enjoying a 13 1/2 game lead over the Bombers at the time of our visit, or that we actually won this World Series thing recently, and maybe it's time to relax just a tad. Stil, the bulging vein in the side of that guy's neck had more pop in it than our $70 million right-fielder's bat. The gaggle of septegenarian hens behind us came to the conclusion that, "he's not fit to wear Trot's number." We concur.

Also on the agenda during our visit, various Maine-ly activities, including several little league outings featuring at least a handful of players showing more zing than the anti-Trot, and the week's other highlight, our lobstering trip on Friday morning. It's tough to take pictures when your hands are covered with herring guts, so I didn't get a ton of documentation on the boat, but we did pull up an egger or two. We V-notched her nice and legal-like (Maine lobstermen mark all egg-bearing females which, once returned to the water are never legal to catch. You can see this one's fresh notch on the second tail fin from the left...) and safely returned her to the deep with her precious cargo of future lobster rolls. But I had to document these two pregnant ladies together.


That's all from the homeland. Tune in next week as we kick off DC in June with some kind of celebration of ludicrous humidity. Might as well embrace it. Gonna be a loooong sticky summer.

Week 25 - Rolling Thunder

Monuments pepper DC like sequins on a prom dress, so Memorial Day provides ample opportunity for quiet reflection on the sacrifices made by our soldiers in conflicts past and present. As of this afternoon, we can honestly say that there is no group of people who do a better job of remembering the dead, the wounded, the POWs and MIA than bikers. Seriously. You have no idea.

Rolling Thunder consists of tens of thousands of motorcycles that have descended on the city each of the past 20 Memorial Day weekends to carry the flag for POWs/MIAs and veterans' rights. Not exactly make for quiet reflection, but these folks do have a way of making their point. Unfortunately, for all their lamenting about the quagmire that was Vietnam, it seems no one actually paid attention when planning our latest campaign. Interestingly enough, their parade passes directly behind the White House. Too bad there's no one awake inside to hear it.

But enough of my yakkin'. On to the good stuff. Hot dogs and beer and Puck at 25 weeks (BYO hot dogs and beer).

Week 24 - The Awakening

This week's installment of Expanding Anna comes to you from the
southern-most point of Washington, DC, a little-known promontory located at the tip of Potomac Park known as Hains Point. The northern end of Potomac Park is bounded by the Tidal Basin of cherry blossom fame, and home to the Jefferson Memorial (look for Jeff in an upcoming installment--he'll be the self-righteous one in the topcoat). This was Mike's first trip to Hains Point, which, aside from its riparian status as confluence of the Potomac and the Anacostia (limpio y navigable!) and the reponderance of recreational fishermen seeking the elusive three-eyed Springfield Nuke Trout, really offers only one interesting feature. But it's a doozy.

"The Awakening" is a five-piece sculpture of a really big dude trying to bust his way out of the Earth. Kind of like the creature popping out of Sigourney Weaver's lieutenant in "Alien," but with fewer teeth and only one mouth. Hopefully Puck won't take a page out of this guy's book when it comes time for him/her to emerge.

And now, on to the evidence (in anatomical order from top to bottom):

Week 23

This week was a bit of a whirlwind, with Granny Babs in town for a
barrage of home improvement missions, but we managed to squeeze in a
few minutes in the National Gallery's sculpture garden, producing two
new images for your enjoyment (including one of Puck's earliest solo
efforts).

The National Archives (shown here in the background) contains such
historical documents as original copies of the Declaration of
Independence and the U. S. Constitution. The fountain in front of it
contains water (I hope). Anna contains Puck.



And here's Puck with "Cheval Rouge" by Alexander Calder. Doesn't look
much like a red horse to us either, but maybe that's because we're not
French.

Anna's Expansion - Week 22

"The only thing I like better than hunting buffalo is having my picture taken with a pregnant lady. Nice bump." --Theodore Roosevelt



This is the first in a weekly series of Anna and Puck (and sometimes Finn) at some of DC's finest landmarks. Tune in each week to chart their progress and learn about our fair city and your Nation's history!