Thursday, August 30, 2007

Week 38/39 - Dome Sweet Dome

This is really getting ridiculous. My favorite part of the last week or so has been just walking places with Anna and watching the reactions she gets from passers-by. Ogling is the term that comes to mind. Frequently with a gasp of horror added on for good measure, and the ubiquitous question: "when are you due?" and an unconscious step back as though her water's about to burst on their shoes. (Or the equally ubiquitous, though less polite excalmation, "you look like you're about to pop!" This second one is always from guys. Usually from winos.)

Now, with the due date just around the corner--the docs moved us up to September 5th at Anna's last visit--it's been harder to convince Anna to leave the house, much less be photographed. But there was one place I'd always envisioned as the final stop on this city-wide photographic tour.

And honestly, I think it's best to just let the belly do the talking.




That's pretty much it for the big DC tour. A grand finale of neo-classical proportions. I have officially received word that this game is now over (though I'm guessing someone could be coaxed out for an encore).

And keep an eye on this space, because if Puck doesn't take the bait, I may be able to convince Anna to start playing "citizenship roulette" by crashing embassies one at a time. If we can get this kid born on foreign soil, dual citizenship's a lock. Here's hoping the big wheel doesn't stop on North Korea!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Week 37: Things that are bigger than Anna

What's that, you say? There are things bigger than Anna's belly? I know it's hard to believe, but there are, in fact, numerous things right here in Washington DC. And I'm not even talking about the obvious ones like the Washington Monument or the Capitol Dome. We found plenty of 'em just by going to the south side of the Mall in response to a call for "something iconic." (Thanks, Anna S!)

We kicked off at the Air and Space Museum, home to a gazillion tourists, and also several important aircraft. But before I get to the pictures, I have a bone to pick with this place:

[BEGIN RANT]

How come we have an entire museum at the Smithsonian--one of just 6 on The Mall--and another satellite facility out by Dulles airport devoted to airplanes and spaceships, which have been around for less than a hundred years. Whereas if you ask them about ships, i.e. the whole reason we stumbled upon this continent in the first place, and the means by which more than 95% of goods enter our country to this very day, they just look at you blankly and say that there might be some fish at the National Aquarium in Baltimore?

This irks me. It also clearly relates to the unrelenting annoyance I get from watching endless news updates about 6 miners killed in a cave-in when fishing vessels go down without so much as a mention on a CNN crawl at the bottom of the screen. Or, on a broader scale, the fact that we have better maps of the surface of the moon and MARS than we do of the ocean floor RIGHT HERE ON EARTH!

[END RANT]

OK. Enough of that. Needless to say, there were plenty of things at the Air and Space Museum that are more massive than Anna's belly.

The Spirit of St. Louis (far left), the Chuck Yeager mobile (orange one in the back), and the large speedy looking blackish jet thing are clearly mas grande.


Also giganticer? These missiles. They're so damn violent and destructive, you can barely make out my family three stories below.


This astronaut's pretty gargantuan, too.


Having basked in enough avian glory, we decided to move outside where there were yet other items from the art world that made Anna's gut appear to belong to a tiny titmouse. Like this colossal... thing... outside the Hirshhorn:


Anna has always likened it to a cosmic-sized forkful of spaghetti, but I think Lichtenstein had something slightly less pasta-ish in mind.

The Hirshhorn also hosts a fantastic sculpture garden. We were especially hoping to see Picasso's "Pregnant Woman (First State)" but much to our chagrin, she was in storage. Anna offered to stand in her place for a small fee, but the guard wasn't biting. So much for college tuition money. Picasso's knocked-up chickie would have been smaller than Anna's belly anyway, and thus would have completely ruined the whole theme of this entry. Fortunately, there were several other huger objets d'art.

This dude is ripped, and clearly far enormouser than Puck's homestead:


If only he had legs and wasn't so far away from this Amazonian, bodacious babe, they'd be perfect for each other:


But of course our tour wouldn't be complete without photographic evidence of the single most astoundingly titanic thing in all of our great not-really-a-state: George W. Bush's ego, in evidence here, at the Department of Education. Who else would have the gall to christen a project "No Child Left Behind" and then completely fail to provide it with adequate funding. Maybe if we hadn't spent half the program's budget on these spiffy, evocative old-timey entrancways for DoE headquarters there would be three or four more children actually not getting left behind.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Week 36: there is NOOOOO... Week 36

Week 36 was officially designated "work on the nursery and don't take any photos" week, but fear not, intrepid blog-perusers, Week 37 pix are fully pixellated and will be posted tonight (or tomorrow at the latest). In the meantime, we were at our first location on Saturday and figured we should shoot a follow-up to give a true picture of Puck's decidedly impressive development.

C'mon, hop in the way-back machine with us and go all the way back to April (week 22) at Roosevelt Island when this whole charade started and we thought Anna was getting big:


Boy were we wrong... The reprise from Saturday:


Even Finn's gotten bigger (can you tell?). The vet told us last week that he's gained about 5 lbs. Sympathy weight.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Skip this post if you're only here for the baby action

Many of you know that I wrote my thesis on development of offshore wind energy in the U.S. Of course, you can't talk about that without talking about everyone's favorite project, Cape Wind. As it turns out, I could have just given the whole thing a miss and let the Daily Show handle it. The video is here.

But while you're watching the shots outside the gatehouse at the Oyster Harbors Club, know that the Daily Show somehow failed to incorporate perhaps the greatest of all ironies: the symbol of this esteemed organization, based on the signature structure located about 100 yards due east of the guardhouse itself, and displayed on everything from security stickers on their cars to the gin-and-tonic glasses in the clubhouse is...

... wait for it...

a windmill.

Interlude: skinny bitch

Last night we went to the Orioles-Sox game at Fenway south (AKA Camden Yards) courtesy of Karen's family's season tickets. The game itself was a somewhat painful experience, so we'll leave that bit out. The interesting bit came in the second inning when another pregnant woman and her husband took the seats next to us. To me, she seemed just past the "I'm not 100% sure she's pregnant, so I better not ask" phase. First guess, maybe 6 months along. Turns out the skinny bitch was due on September 6th, one day BEFORE Anna.

Clearly Puck could kick her baby's ass.


And no, that's not the S.B. in the photo. That's freshly vindicated O's fan, Karen, who already has her own four kids, thanks.


Finn has made it clear to us that one baby is plenty for starters. More just makes him nervous.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Week 35: Rain forests aren't humid, are they?

In the comments for week 33, our friend Anna suggested that we start taking requests. A brilliant thought, so if anyone has any ideas, do spill. Clock's ticking, though and we've still got some non-negotiables left to document, so make 'em snappy and make 'em good.

Meanwhile, with the record-setting heat wave laying on top of the city like an obese, sweaty aunt*, we figured an indoor photo shoot was on tap for this week. So we picked... an indoor jungle. Perhaps the only roofed-in locale with a dewpoint higher than the outdoors. Now that's some A-1 government-quality thought process you're lookin' at right there.

We hit the U.S. Botanic Garden, where, back in December, I took the first ever picture of Puck, though s/he was approximately the size of nothing at all, and we had no idea s/he was along for the ride:


And no, you can't actually see Puck in this picture, but s/he's in the person who's in the picture, so that counts right? Of course, we had to return to the frond in question for posterity's sake. Sligtly different look this time:


Both frond and belly have grown a bit.

From the ridiculous, we went sublime: the orchid room.


And finally, for those of you looking for the full girth disclosure:


This baby's got to be showing up before September, right?


* Disclaimer: Neither Anna nor Mike have any aunts that are either obese or sweaty.

Week 34: More Maine traditions

Apologies for lateness are getting old. But now my bosses have gone back to Maine and Alaska for the month of August, and basically all of their staff who aren't waiting for a baby to drop have buggered off as well, so I'm going to have ample time to keep you abreast of future developments.

In week 34, Anna was away, and I was here, minding the dog. By the time Anna got back, I had ordered the "remote training" collar. Nowhere in the manual for this product can one find the word "shock." Still, damn if he doesn't come when he's called these days.

But I digress...

One of Anna's New England activities was a good old-fashioned henna-ing. I don't know about you, but when I think of Maine, the first three things come to mind: lobster, my boss (who has taken a strong stance against the President's "strategy" in Iraq, making us all very proud), and henna.

Since I wasn't in attendance for this episode, I'll let the pictures do the talking:




And now, after three weeks of travel to L.A. for business, and Maine and New Hampshire for Q.T. with the fam, Anna's got a doctor's mandate to stay the eff put, and we can find time to resume the Washingtonian photo scavenger hunt.